Over the New Year

Spent nearly a week at home. Came back 4 days before Chinese New Year, and still in non-working mood on the 3rd day of new year. Was busy with new year preparation and cleaning, then on the new year eve, we had prayer for my dad, then we had reunion lunch. At the night of new year eve, we did simple prayer, then enjoy our night at the balcony, watching people playing fire crackers.

On the day of new year, we all had a single vegetarian dish with rice, its our tradition. We then remained only having vegetarian food till noon. Then me, mum and cutie pie nephew went to my father's side grandmother place. Most of my relatives were there, I greeted them briefly and as usual, the unmarried will get red packet (Ang Pau) from the elder, and from those who had married. Nephew was afraid of so many strangers there, so he stuck with me most of the time.

I don't really see the meaning of new year gathering sometime. Most of my aunts and uncles can still recognize me, but most of my cousins don't even know who am I or how to address me properly although i still remember their names and faces. Anyway, I don't mind they don't know who am I, its just that if you can't get to know your relatives thru this family gathering, then when are you going to get to know them? Or should I put it this way...What's the point of knowing them all and chit chat with them, but when on normal day, even though we stay not far from each other, we never talk or meet even once through out the whole year? I don't really get the reason of this new year family gathering anymore....For my own family, we are small family, and we stay very close to each other, as me and my younger brother still stay at home with my mum, and my elder brother who has his own family, live less than 5 mins away. We will get to see each other almost every weekend. So the new year to us...maybe its just a season to have more food than usual days, and have reason to wear nice new clothes...

Getting red packet is never the itinerary anymore, especially if you are my age. People start wonder why are you not getting married yet, and not even bringing someone with you during this "family gathering". Relatives start to give you strange look, and asked awkward questions for example, why you didn't have any boyfriend/girlfriend yet? As if we really know the answer....It gets worst when people around your age are bringing their kids with them, and giving you red packet as you are still single.

So, i spent most of my time in my room or with my mum...I manage to finish a 400++ pages book over this busy week, and i am feeling great and content.

Book bought from the 1M book voucher, finished on the 2nd day of Chinese New Year.

Think back, and do tell me what's the real meaning of new year celebration where money was burnt, food was turned into high cholesterol and everything you see may not be real ?

A Poem

Came across a beautiful poem and wish to share. By the time I finished reading the last two lines, I felt pain in my heart, and couldn't hold my tears anymore.

by Jo

She sits by a window and waits.This is her routine every single day.She never confronts the truthBecause she knows how much it'd hurt.The truth is too hard to bearAnd she thinks nobody caresBut she doesn't know that I'm always hereWatching her cry and wishing I could be there.She's afraid to hear what ISAnd more afraid to forget.I wish I could be there to comfort herAnd to hold her in my arms once again.Because the truth that really hurts... Is the reality that I am gone. Adapted from http://www.poems.md/daughter-poems/to-a-daughter-from-her-father-430.html

2012

The starting of year 2012 was with lots of love and gratefulness, then was bestowed with some hardship and problems. Life is so, up and down. No one stays on top of the world all the time and no ones will be at the bottom, be looked down by those on top all the time.

With gratefulness, I always get to remember the love that I used to receive from someone i love. Some unconditional love that given by parents. They used to tell us how much they wanted us to be successful in life. To a time that, they actually tell us they just want us to be happy.

I recollected some memory. When i was thirteen in age. I has been having some degree of obsession towards sports car and luxury car. Although i was only into their eye-captivating appearance, but i can almost identified them when i saw them on magazine or on TV.

Then there was a day. I received a thick letter from Singapore. I opened it up and i found that inside was nicely cut newspaper cuttings of some nice cars. It was sent to be by my dad who was working in Singapore at that time. He collected those cuttings that he got from local newspaper, fold it nicely and put them into envelops and post it to me. I was trilled, and i still keep those newspaper cuttings.

It is a memory i have, very clearly, with my dad. He was working in Singapore since i was borne. We had long distance father-daughter relationship. Then he came back to Penang. We only had a few years of family time before he past away. 3 years before he past away was the challenging time. I always wonder, even till today, whether that period of time, was the time that made me stronger or the time that made me more of a not-to-care person.

Now, i get more grateful everyday and i can't wait for tomorrow.