红色墨水笔

那一天， 见到了自己好久没有用的红色钢笔，联想到了自己的另外一支笔。
也开始喜欢红色墨水笔这一个名字。

自己经常用那红色墨水笔随性的涂写，虽然那墨水笔的外观是红色，但是里面的墨水却是黑色的。 是我把他的墨水内胆从原有的红色给换成了黑色。 原因是， 自己要的是黑色墨水笔， 却只买到了红色的，内夹红色墨水夹。结果， 为了满足自己，只好又买了黑色的墨水夹。
就这样， 红色墨水笔用的却是黑色墨水。 而喜欢涂写的我，已经用完了两个墨水。

再接再厉的涂写吧！

Little bit of everything, December 2012

My December was filled with LOVE. Started with attending a very blessed and blissful friend's engagement, next the Winter Solstice with glutinous rice balls in Almond Milk and last but not least, the Christmas dinner hosted by my sister in law.

What can you ask for more when you life is on and off filled with LOVE from friends and family. Put away the worries, the stress, the unwanted and plunge into pool of happiness while you still can. My best wishes to everyone. Keep smiling and life may magically become better. 

With lots of love.

Merry Christmas 2012

Merry Christmas 2012, soft pastel doodling.

The mysterious end-of-the-world year, 2012. We have gone thru the so called last day in Mayan Calender and its time to celebrate this festive season. Merry Christmas folks and open up your heart to welcome the exciting 2013. May all your dreams come true.

有感而发

越想得到的，往往越得不到。
越渴望的，得到的可能只是一桶冷水， 浇了一头。
而伤得你最深的，却是你最为依靠的人。

种瓜得瓜， 种豆得豆

小弟今天下午讲了一句意义深重的一句话
他说:  俗语说 种瓜得瓜， 种豆得豆。 他停顿了一秒，接下去说
所以
种电话得电话。

我笑了。 
也许， 在现在看来是很大的笑话，
但是， 谁也无法预定这种事不会在未来发生。

Ugly truth

Happiness,
Spread easily.
Effect varies on different people.

Some are happy;
Some are jealous.
Depends on who has it.

Sadness,
Spread rather slow.
Effect varies on different people.
Some grief;
Some smirk.
Depends on who has it.

So,
Life is miserable,
when you care too much about how others react.

夫复何求

偶尔，
回顾一下，
生活还算平稳, 还不至于真正的孤独无助， 也没有经常处于水深火热之中。
身边也有关心自己的家人和朋友。
问了自己，有生活如此， 夫复何求？

但是，
要做到中庸， 知足，谈何容易?

那人；哪

众里寻她千百度
蓦然回首
那人却在灯火阑珊处

Insanity

Insanity, made use of whatever drawing apparatus I have and created this. The charcoal, soft pastel and pencil doodling. 

Am not an artist, nor have any form of training of drawing before. Its merely spur of the moment doodling. Created as a token of memory of my second visit to Ta Prohm, Siem Reap.

Tears, to a father

Tears
to a father
who missed out his children birthdays.

Tears
to a father,
who missed out the joy of seeing his kids blowing off candles.

Tears
to a father,
who was occupied with life,
to the extent that never remembered his kids birthday.

Tears
to a father,
whom i believed willing to give up whatever he had, to experience once again,
his children giggles
or
just to see or hear them laugh..

Tears
to a father,
MY father,
to thank him for a memory of celebrated one of my birthdays with me,
the 5th.

Tears
to a father,
MY father,
whom i loved,
and missed every single day.

问自己

每一回在外出回来， 都会质问自己，为了什么得坚持外出之前过的日子。

那些日子的意义是什么，为什么自己可以毫无疑问的过了那么多不闻不问的日子。

出外见识后， 对我的生活有什么的影响？ 有什么改变？

也许是为了看另一半的风景，让我们都有要出游的冲动

Dream

As Paulo Coelho said

"When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it".

We shall be brave and bold enough to have dreams.
I kind of feeling mine in the process of achieving.

The promise that i secretly made.
The promise that my beloved father could never realized- the one that i altered and amended into something within my ability. 
I have even achieved something that i never dare to dream of in recent years.
Let's have faith, and do dream.

夜晚

很多时候， 某位在我们生命中曾经熟悉的人，会在一夕间，成为了陌生人。

也许， 他们的出现，是让我们明白到待人处事的大道理。

也许， 他们的出现， 是让我们更了解人性的弱点。

也许，  他们的出现，是为了让我们在受到伤害后， 懂得振作起来。

白天， 在人群里， 人与人之间里奋斗。

夜里，我们只想要静下来， 然后放松自己，放空自己的脑袋。

这样的夜晚， 还真不容易实现。

忆

记得，
曾经有那么一时刻， 那一时的沉静， 
在同一个厅里的人，都在默默的哭泣。 
纵然， 没有人开口说话， 
但是， 当时每一个人的脑海里，
都在静静的回顾一个刚刚离去的亲人。

我
坐在了冰冷的花岗石地上，
就在厅里的咖啡茶几旁，
看着茶几的褐色条纹，
想了很多。

那期间发生的事，
成了我开始写日记的起点。

醒来

醒来

是从梦中醒过来，

还是从逃避中，回过神来。

不愿醒过来，

并不是眷念那甜蜜的梦，

而是害怕那揪心的痛，并不是梦。

那一份的委屈，

原来， 都藏到梦里去了。 

梦里的心在滴血，眼在掉泪。

希望醒过来， 这一切都还只是梦。

Dance with my father: 打动你的心

向来坚强自立的我，内心的深处， 有一处最柔弱的地方。

只要一触动到， 泪水就会不听使唤。

也因为这样， 我都尽可能的不去记得有那一处，尽可能的逃避。

现实往往都没有那么简单，

日常生活中， 总会有触动到那地方的时候。

心中的疼痛， 化成了在眼眶打滚的泪珠，再一串串的从脸上流下，没有哭声。

但是心中的隐痛， 即便流再多的泪也无法减轻。

那一种心痛，是无法被倾诉的。

那心痛， 是失去而引起的。

失去了渴望的， 在懂得珍惜时却为时已晚。

那， 其实是人间最平凡的， 父女之间的爱。

失去了一个， 担心自己老去后我会没有人疼，没有人爱， 没有人帮而不敢让自己老去的他。

再多的眼泪， 再多的心痛， 再多的金钱， 再多的时间，也换不回来。  

__________________________________________________________

分享这一首歌，Luther vandross 的 Dance with my father

希望你可以细细品尝歌词里的每一句。

那么多的情感， 那么多的渴望

那一份， 用什么都换不回来的真挚情感。

修水管

昨天，家里的水管接头破裂。 那发展商原装的塑料接头无言无故的裂了，导致水一直不停的流。裂的地方是水源和洗手盆的接口。 还好在平时家里有什么水管维修的时候， 我总会在一旁做助手， 另外家里也有额外的水管。 就这样， 拿了扳钳生料带，把总阀门关掉， 就这样把新的水管给换上去了。 成果还不错，就这样的把水管漏水的问题给解决了。

今天，伤风病毒的大举侵袭，声音也都变了，让我过了足不出户的一天。

合艾水上市场篇

合艾的水上市场， 不像曼谷著名的水上市场般的闻名，也不太一样。据我所知， 曼谷的水上市场是顾客和小贩都在流动的小舟上的，合艾的却是小贩门在小舟上，在河岸旁，固定小舟，然后在小舟上贩卖各种特色小食。第一次见识到这一类型的贩卖方式， 真的很有意思。 小食大致上都经济， 而特别的是那里用来盛面，米粉类食品的容器均是瓦作成的， 品尝完了后， 还可以把那容器带回做纪念。用来装饮料的却是瓦类和竹子， 就连吸管也是竹子。 喝起来还真的别有一番风味。

合艾是去年年尾去的。这一篇却一直都没有发布。

人来人往， 来来往往

平静的倒映在水面上

那一时刻的美丽，

足以令人屏息。

荷塘 倩影

Beautiful Water Lily with lovely reflection at Penang Botanical Garden

Calming scenery at Penang Botanical Garden. Greenery scene, spiced up by colourful flowers blossom. 

I was hoping to have some fresh air but sad, the air there, was somehow lost its freshness, with people smoking there.

Even they grow in muddy water, lilies always rise without being "stained" or "polluted"

Nowadays, it is so hard to be un-stained and un-polluted by the social sickness.

Pearl of Orient-Georgetown 1

Temple of Goddess of Mercy-Beauty of Georgetown, Penang

Little walk in Georgetown the other day, enjoyed even walking under hot sun. Georgetown is a city with soul. Wherever you look, you have to look with your heart to feel its true beauty.

在繁华的都市里， 还是有一偶， 呈现着最纯朴的一面。
年轻的一辈， 把空闲的时间都花在了虚拟的世界里。
唯独在这古迹区里， 大家放慢了生活的脚步。
细细的， 就如品茗般，
感受纯朴真实的一面。

Conference ++

Crystal Mosque at Kuala Terengganu- Photo taken with phone.

NOTE: Conference ++ bears the meaning of attending conference as the major purpose but with fun and pleasure activities which are indicated by the ++ sign.

One of the greater event of July will be the conference attending at Kuala Terengganu. Bus left from Sungai Nibong, Penang on Sunday night at 9, arrived Kuala Terengganu at 5 in the morning. Lazed around lobby of Ri-yaz Heritage Marina Resort and Spa, enjoyed the breath-taking dawn. We checked in the chalet style room, with 2 deluxe single bed and a beautiful verandah.

I went to conference registration, got my kit and name was called by someone i know. Then i headed back to room, and had a power nap. It was feeling so great as we were all worn out by the long bus journey. We had some food at the verandah restaurant at the hotel, then headed for our little town sight seeing, which was the ++ part of the journey.

We left our shoes prints on Chinatown, He An Gong (Chinese Temple), floors of Pasar Payang, Bazaar Warisan, Kubu Puteri, Masjid Abidin Kuala Terengganu, and the promenade outside of Istana Maziah on our very first day in Kuala Terengganu.

The next day morning, we attended few sessions of the conference, then continued with out ++ program. Destination: Pantai Batu Burok. We spent time-stopping moments there, sitting on the observation tower on the beach, fully enjoyed ourselves with what ever happened on the beach as we had the perfect view of the coastline. Fish throwing accident, voice-over story making were the highlights of the day. That night, we wondered around town on foot, for nearly 4km. Great experience.

The last day in Kuala Terengganu, I had my presentation on the first session of the day. Less than the given time (8mins) i finished presenting. The chairperson said that its timely presentation, i take it as a compliment though. We checked out the hotel, packed and ready for the very last adventure of the town. We went to experience Batik painting, boat making workshop, Floating Mosque of Kuala Terengganu, Crystal Mosque, again market in the town, followed by durian fest given by our lovely guides. We were on board of our chariot at 9pm, and arrived at Sungai Nibong, the next day morning around 5.

An eye opening experience i would say. I got to learn a lot. Will never forget it.

Not Copy Machine 台灣學生魏均寰的作品

Not copy machine台灣學生魏均寰-「Not Copy Machine」 德國紅點設計大賞海報設計類最佳獎

台湾的一个学生， 用了这样的一个设计来表现大多数父母对孩子思想上的印象。 现今的社会里， 这样的父母大大的存在。 硬生生的把自己的思想给万万全全的给孩子冠上。 不久将来， 许多的年轻人可能都不懂如何思考了， 更不用说是在外独自生存。


父母们，让孩子有属于自己的一片天空吧！ 不应该把自己做不到的就这样要求孩子可以帮你完成， 让他们了解你那迟来的梦想， 还倒不如让他们去展翅翱翔于无际的天空。 

信

缕缕的思念

从思绪连绵不绝的， 川流到文字里

一笔一划， 细细的纪录在信纸上

仿佛有诉不尽是情意

点一把火，一缕烟缓缓冒起

手一投， 寄托了满满思念的纸

慢慢的成了灰烬

那一方的他， 可否收到

没人得以知晓

我的父亲

喜欢用手， 感觉你那刺刺的胡渣，

喜欢和你走在一起，

牵着你厚厚温暖的手，肩并肩；

喜欢你到幼儿园去接我放学，

你总是会给我买巧克力味的雪糕；

喜欢和你一起吃早餐，

因为那是很难得的；

喜欢为你选衣服，

那是一个我对你表达爱的方法；

喜欢看你穿我给你选的衣服，

那是一个女儿的荣耀；

喜欢看你渐渐长胖，

在你病了以后，那是我唯一可以感觉

你一天比一天健康的迹象；

喜欢看你吃我烘烤的蛋糕，西饼

那是莫大的满足；

饭后， 和你一起坐在客厅，

打开你的手心，细看你的掌纹，那岁月留下的符号；

握着你的手，

那一双给我带来温饱的手；

你细细述说你童年的经历，

往往让我的想象力负荷不来；

也许， 我曾经令你失望

也许， 我曾经让你感到骄傲

也许， 我曾把你气得哭笑不得

也许， 也许， 也许... ...

你不曾说出你的爱，

从来不说你爱我们，

但是你的举动都充满了爱。

记忆里， 你不曾告诉我该怎么样生活，

不曾要求我成为什么样的人， 

不曾问过我的梦想， 我的志愿；

记忆里， 只记得你希望我过得开心。 

也许，你正在看着，

也许，你正在听着，

也许，你正在感动着，

也许，你正在心疼着，

也许，你因为我而流泪着

也许， 也许... ... 这些也许， 我永远都没办法知道。

谢谢你给的一切。

谢谢你不曾磨灭我的不一样，

谢谢你了解我的不平凡，

谢谢你原谅我的过错，

谢谢你让我自己成长，

谢谢你培养我独立思考的能力，

谢谢你把我训练成今天的我。

这一些谢谢， 即使你看不见， 听不见，

我希望你的心感受得到。

没有一天不爱你，

我的父亲。

那一刹那的有感而发

再平静的水也会被雨水激起涟漪。层层的涟漪会慢慢地向远处漫延，而水面终归会恢复平静。 很多时候，我们的心总是纠结在那一霎那的涟漪， 忘了时间终归会让我们恢复平静。

心中被激起的那一片涟漪

 P/S: Picture taken from the net.

LOVE

TWIRL LOVE - CREATED WITH SOFT PASTEL AND SMUDGED WITH FINGER

A way to de-stressed is to do something free and stress-less. Got a box of soft pastel for myself few days back. Now am happily venturing into my own way of de-stressed. De-stressed should also comes with creativity is it not?

HOPE

Tree of hope- soft pastel drawing.

Created this out of boredom. Life these days are difficult, and almost colourless. What we see everyday is some metal pieces with screen that reflected the whole virtual world. Our form of communication are all depends on those gadgets. What's the last time you actually dirtied your hands and draw something that is not for work/school work? We LIVE for ourselves...not for others, and certainly not LIVE to operate on metal pieces, talking to metal pieces and LED screen. I seriously prefer old school colour pigments. Even the rough texture of charcoal would have pleased me. Its time to think and do something out of the box. 

Note: Who knows? I may crazily turn this into a Xmas card one day...

记录一段有感而发

从印度来的其中一份礼物。 手工制手绘的帆布袋。 

教授的出现， 早在去年就已经给我带来的很大的改变。无论是态度上， 思想上， 学业上和心理上都有很大的转变。在我的种种目标都很不明确时，教授出现了。刚开始和他相处时，他给予的指导犹如当头棒喝般，把我从迷雾中唤醒过来。 那个一刻起， 我才慢慢的觉悟起来， 生活也大大的改变了，过得莫名的充实。 

很多时候， 我都会在想， 要是当时没有那些美丽的错误， 这个时候， 我过的会是什么样的日子。 教授， 对我来说是一位启蒙老师， 但是他对我来说更像是一位父亲。 教授恰恰的填补了我那内心失去父亲的空洞。 在我眼里， 他就像是我的父亲一样， 虽然在远方，联络的方式也只是通过电邮短信， 但是我知道， 很肯定的， 任何时候， 如果我需要他的帮忙， 他都会在我身旁支持我。我知道当我面对生活上， 课业上的问题时， 只要我向他寻求意见， 他肯定会给予我意见， 关怀和鼓励。 这一点我至今不怀疑。 我的电邮短信，他都一一回复。 而我喜欢道早安/晚安的习惯， 想必也给他带来了麻烦， 而，他都回复了。 我喜欢那种打开电邮，可以读到有人道早安的电邮的那种感觉，简单的早安的字眼， 会让我的一天都变得美好。就因为这样， 所以我几乎天天的都给他道早安晚安。 另外这也是如果父亲依然健在的话， 我很想要天天做的事。


有的时候， 对于生活有些无奈， 他会告诉我说，一切都会还起来的。就这样简单的一句话， 有的时候我就会觉得好很多， 仿佛所有的事都会好起来。 他的话， 很多时候都是很简单的道理， 但是往往都是我们忽略掉的。


在教授身上，感觉到了最纯真的老师-学生的那一种相辅相长的关系。

放开；前进

经常会提醒自己， 特别是受伤时， 无论你再做的怎么好，再怎么样的尽力都还会有人不满意的。 没能所谓的完美， 没能去迁就每一个人的需要。 往往， 一天下来， 自己在努力过后承担的都是别人的埋怨， 别人的不满。 没有人会拍拍你的肩膀说你做了对， 只会听到别人说， 你应该怎么样怎么样的， 没有人会给你感激。 即使再迁就别人， 也还是顺得哥来失嫂意。 唯一不了解的是， 即便老早就知道了这个道理， 还是会别人的话而大大的受伤害。 以为自己已经越来越坚强了， 但是没有想到， 自己的坚强程度还有待大大的改进。 真是丢人。

另一厢， 自己在送机是还算不错，没有像上一次般的控制不了眼泪。虽然独自一人回来的时候还是掉了伤感的眼泪。固中的原由，还是只有自己知。倒是隔天到学校时，听说某人问起友人， 是不是大大清早的去送机（早上6时）， 所以没有时间掉眼泪。 这好像和早上或是晚上没什么干系。也许， 存粹的只是想要揶揄我吧。

Being a translator.

This year, the 19th Beijing College Student Films Festival （第十九届北京大学生电影节） has chosen USM as one of their sub-division. I was honoured to be one of their language translators for the event, and also for the distinguished guests from Beijing Normal University (北京师范大学）. It was my very first time being a translator. Later, I realized being a translator, your hardest task is to convey the information to the audiences as close as the original text, in your way of saying without adding in your personal view.  Our guests were Dean of School of Arts and Multimedia, Beijing Normal University Prof Zhou (周星教授), his students and General secretary of 19th Beijing College Student Films Festival ( 李国芳老师). 

It was an great honour to be able to receive wonderful inputs from them. Besides all that, sitting on stage as the translator was one hell of experience to me. Sitting under the stage light, trying to understand what was the speakers trying to say, and putting them into proper sentences in language that is not my first language. Well, i think i did it okay, and it did boast my confidence a little. Immense gratitude for those involved in this event. Opportunity that given is highly appreciated.

Photos, courtesy of  http://www.bcsff.org/subschool/20120418255.html

PEACE ；有感而发

The "PEACE" A little creation for this post. Who does not ask for peace of mind?

有感而发

曾几何时， 我们对人，事，与物等都抱有满怀的期待。记不起打从什么时候开始， 我们开始从原有的期待，进阶到不再要求，默默的耕耘。 一直到失望，告诉自己要放开，  再次失望，再次的自我疗伤。 一次一次的就这样循环着。 直到终于舍得告诉自己， “你的周围没有别人， 在工作的地方， 你只是一个孤儿， 一个善良没有心机的个体，一不留神的那一瞬间就会被狠狠地打压在地。” 你让自己放下， 不让自己再次傻傻的捧着那一丝希望， 然后有所期待。 

看了那么多同样主题的一幕幕， 听了同样意思的一句句台词，纵然不一样的演员，不一样的背景， 但是受伤的还不是同样的我们。 放下吧！ 

HOME

A nice design by Jenn Ski. Somehow it brings out a very homy feeling for me as i have the modern recreated Eames chair too.

Thought of the day:
I wonder, since when "home" is no longer a place to relax, but has became a place that need completely full attention to handle and with extra care.

I like the graphic design by Jenn Ski, more of like love at first sight. More of her design, may visit Etsy.

3D Paper Ball Ornament

My first trial on the 3D paper ball ornament. Pardon me for the uneven edge, cutting with scissors is not my strength.

Found this step by step DIY from a blog. A simple and easy way to make your own 3D ball ornament from just paper. For downloading the template and the step by step "how-to-do" please visit the blog howaboutorange

How you guys enjoy this "edgy" ornament. Once again. Thanks to Jessica Jones for sharing this wonderful DIY in her blog.

March-ing forward

Bangles story: A friend went to Delhi, India and brought me these shiny, blingy bangles.

Month of March is ending. I have to admit that time really flies in supersonic speed, faster than eyes blinking. It all happened so fast to the extent that I do not really remember much about what happened. Watched a movie "This means war", had some good time with friends, learned something new, me and someone both had our heart opened, and got to listen the inner voice. Its all beauties of nature. I have allowed myself once again plunged into different world of words. Touched by words that contained so many emotions and love. Gradually letting go of something i should not be holding on so hard. Still grabbing it though, hopefully can learn to release my strong grip, finger by finger at least.

Books

Another 50 bucks book voucher went for these 2 books. Aleph by Paulo Coelho and The Kashmir Shawl by Rosie Thomas. Happy to be surrounded by books.

Blaming and realising

People sometime blame someone for their pointless presence but only realised after eyes-opening experiences, that someone was the one brought what you treasure a lot into your life.
[March, 2012]

Mystic Side in Everyone's Heart.

Everyone has a mystic side deep down under in their heart. Picture taken at Pantai Pasir Panjang.

We struggle in this world to live a so called "better" life which no one actually knows what is better. It is just a relatively speaking concept. We do not know what is ahead, but we keep faith and thinking that all will be better later, better from present. We live on faith and hope. Big possibility that that are the reason that human still being able to think creatively and innovatively even after millions of disasters happened to mankind.

We live, we struggle, we hide, we cry, we avoid, we do whatever we able to think of just to feel "better". Whatever way you are using when dealing with life its your own mystic story engraved in your heart.

Sunrise

Sunrise near Jerejak Jetty,Penang bridge on the left, a part of Jerejak Island on the right.

With hue and shinning sun as the center of attention.

Taken at Penang-18 February 2012

After encountering the beautiful sunset, next challenge, okay sort of a challenge is the sunrise. Sunset requires a long exposure time with high aperture value, am happy my camera was still be able to provide F8.0. For sunrise that is complete different story as i have to limit the exposure time by changing the ISO and Aperture Value..Which was kind of hard as i had no prior experience.

Well, woke up early morning for the sunrise, hoping to capture it's beauty is a challenge. The twilight, followed by peeping sun, then the rising sun. Everything happened in a split moment. That's why capturing it's beauty is very hard.

I enjoy the ambush of the sun...It is indeed inspiring.

[Food] Salmon flakes creamy sweet potatoes soup

Stir Fried Salmon Flakes Creamy Sweet Potatoes Soup

Made something impromptu that day with whatever I have at home and came up with this special recipe. Never thought salmon can be best friend with sweet potatoes. Wish to share this recipe here.

Ingredients:

Salmon flakes, 4-6 sweet potatoes, celery, curry powder, soup stock (can be chicken/mushroom/fish according to your preference) Milk.

First, remove skin of sweet potatoes, boiled them in hot water till soft. Make 2 cups of soup stock of your preference, pour it into blender and add the sweet potatoes in. Add another half or a cup of milk and blend it till smooth. Pour the smoothly blended sweet potatoes into the wok, add in curry powder, and salt for taste. Mix it thoroughly.

On frying pan, pour in some oil or butter, and add in the cut celery, then the salmon flakes. Add some pepper and salt for taste. Stir fried for 3 minutes.

Scope the soup and lay the stir fried salmon flakes on soup...

Voila...Enjoy...

Sunset

Sunset at Pantai Pasir Panjang, Balik Pulau.

In love with a place, a place where you can actually see the sun goes down the horizon leaving beautiful hue. Went for the sunset solely on Chap Go Meh and ended my Chinese New Year celebration with colours.

Kek Lok Si Temple

Kek Lok Si Temple, The goddess of Mercy

Visited Kek Lok Si Temple during Chinese New Year the second time. The first time was 2 years back. This year was the first time ever for me to reach the hill top Goddess of Mercy Statue at night. Serene and beautiful with the magic touch of lights.

Traffic was not surprisingly heavy, as expected. The lights worth the waiting though. As each each year there is some new elements introduced.

Lights in Kek Lok Si, on 3rd Feb 2012

Over the New Year

Spent nearly a week at home. Came back 4 days before Chinese New Year, and still in non-working mood on the 3rd day of new year. Was busy with new year preparation and cleaning, then on the new year eve, we had prayer for my dad, then we had reunion lunch. At the night of new year eve, we did simple prayer, then enjoy our night at the balcony, watching people playing fire crackers.

On the day of new year, we all had a single vegetarian dish with rice, its our tradition. We then remained only having vegetarian food till noon. Then me, mum and cutie pie nephew went to my father's side grandmother place. Most of my relatives were there, I greeted them briefly and as usual, the unmarried will get red packet (Ang Pau) from the elder, and from those who had married. Nephew was afraid of so many strangers there, so he stuck with me most of the time.

I don't really see the meaning of new year gathering sometime. Most of my aunts and uncles can still recognize me, but most of my cousins don't even know who am I or how to address me properly although i still remember their names and faces. Anyway, I don't mind they don't know who am I, its just that if you can't get to know your relatives thru this family gathering, then when are you going to get to know them? Or should I put it this way...What's the point of knowing them all and chit chat with them, but when on normal day, even though we stay not far from each other, we never talk or meet even once through out the whole year? I don't really get the reason of this new year family gathering anymore....For my own family, we are small family, and we stay very close to each other, as me and my younger brother still stay at home with my mum, and my elder brother who has his own family, live less than 5 mins away. We will get to see each other almost every weekend. So the new year to us...maybe its just a season to have more food than usual days, and have reason to wear nice new clothes...

Getting red packet is never the itinerary anymore, especially if you are my age. People start wonder why are you not getting married yet, and not even bringing someone with you during this "family gathering". Relatives start to give you strange look, and asked awkward questions for example, why you didn't have any boyfriend/girlfriend yet? As if we really know the answer....It gets worst when people around your age are bringing their kids with them, and giving you red packet as you are still single.

So, i spent most of my time in my room or with my mum...I manage to finish a 400++ pages book over this busy week, and i am feeling great and content.

Book bought from the 1M book voucher, finished on the 2nd day of Chinese New Year.

Think back, and do tell me what's the real meaning of new year celebration where money was burnt, food was turned into high cholesterol and everything you see may not be real ?

A Poem

Came across a beautiful poem and wish to share. By the time I finished reading the last two lines, I felt pain in my heart, and couldn't hold my tears anymore.

by Jo

She sits by a window and waits.This is her routine every single day.She never confronts the truthBecause she knows how much it'd hurt.The truth is too hard to bearAnd she thinks nobody caresBut she doesn't know that I'm always hereWatching her cry and wishing I could be there.She's afraid to hear what ISAnd more afraid to forget.I wish I could be there to comfort herAnd to hold her in my arms once again.Because the truth that really hurts... Is the reality that I am gone. Adapted from http://www.poems.md/daughter-poems/to-a-daughter-from-her-father-430.html

2012

The starting of year 2012 was with lots of love and gratefulness, then was bestowed with some hardship and problems. Life is so, up and down. No one stays on top of the world all the time and no ones will be at the bottom, be looked down by those on top all the time.

With gratefulness, I always get to remember the love that I used to receive from someone i love. Some unconditional love that given by parents. They used to tell us how much they wanted us to be successful in life. To a time that, they actually tell us they just want us to be happy.

I recollected some memory. When i was thirteen in age. I has been having some degree of obsession towards sports car and luxury car. Although i was only into their eye-captivating appearance, but i can almost identified them when i saw them on magazine or on TV.

Then there was a day. I received a thick letter from Singapore. I opened it up and i found that inside was nicely cut newspaper cuttings of some nice cars. It was sent to be by my dad who was working in Singapore at that time. He collected those cuttings that he got from local newspaper, fold it nicely and put them into envelops and post it to me. I was trilled, and i still keep those newspaper cuttings.

It is a memory i have, very clearly, with my dad. He was working in Singapore since i was borne. We had long distance father-daughter relationship. Then he came back to Penang. We only had a few years of family time before he past away. 3 years before he past away was the challenging time. I always wonder, even till today, whether that period of time, was the time that made me stronger or the time that made me more of a not-to-care person.

Now, i get more grateful everyday and i can't wait for tomorrow.