Crossing from 2012 to 2013

365 days. Some bad days and some good days in between. On the new year eve, i continued my last year tradition of writing an email to thank someone who have been helping me so much in everything in my life. Made creme caramel and tea to celebrate my new year eve, sitting on the cold tile of my balcony floor, caressing by the cooling breeze, sipping hot tea and sharing my thoughts with my late father. Miss him so much on that cold night, when fireworks were blasting here and there in my sight. I recollected the first time this type of gigantic fireworks being introduced to "normal residents", around 8-9 years back which my neighbourhood was just started to taste its sweetness. Me and my father would walk around to hunt for its glory lights. 

After his leaving, fireworks reminded me of him every time when i see one. Especially during the festive season of new year and Chinese New Year. On year 2011, i was so blessed to have a once in a life time chance (to me it was) to visit US with my granny and uncle's family. Witnessed the most glorious enchanting and magical fireworks I could ever imagined in Disneyland in Anaheim, California. Yesterday, on the new  year eve, from the other end of my building, the bomb-blastic sound some fireworks caught my attention. So i went with camera, and managed to capture one photo. Very soon, after the building opposite is up. I will lose the chance of seeing such beautiful fireworks from there. Well, we all have to move on. 

2012 had been a good year to me when I try to only look a the bright side and ignore the bad. Many wonderful and memorable moments I had. I feel that, I kind of lost my impatience little by little too. Grateful and wishing to have another "enchanting" year. 

First photo of the year 2013. Bomb-blastic fireworks. Sign of the coming bombastic year? Let us all wish for that.

Tears, to a father

Tears
to a father
who missed out his children birthdays.

Tears
to a father,
who missed out the joy of seeing his kids blowing off candles.

Tears
to a father,
who was occupied with life,
to the extent that never remembered his kids birthday.

Tears
to a father,
whom i believed willing to give up whatever he had, to experience once again,
his children giggles
or
just to see or hear them laugh..

Tears
to a father,
MY father,
to thank him for a memory of celebrated one of my birthdays with me,
the 5th.

Tears
to a father,
MY father,
whom i loved,
and missed every single day.

我的父亲

喜欢用手， 感觉你那刺刺的胡渣，

喜欢和你走在一起，

牵着你厚厚温暖的手，肩并肩；

喜欢你到幼儿园去接我放学，

你总是会给我买巧克力味的雪糕；

喜欢和你一起吃早餐，

因为那是很难得的；

喜欢为你选衣服，

那是一个我对你表达爱的方法；

喜欢看你穿我给你选的衣服，

那是一个女儿的荣耀；

喜欢看你渐渐长胖，

在你病了以后，那是我唯一可以感觉

你一天比一天健康的迹象；

喜欢看你吃我烘烤的蛋糕，西饼

那是莫大的满足；

饭后， 和你一起坐在客厅，

打开你的手心，细看你的掌纹，那岁月留下的符号；

握着你的手，

那一双给我带来温饱的手；

你细细述说你童年的经历，

往往让我的想象力负荷不来；

也许， 我曾经令你失望

也许， 我曾经让你感到骄傲

也许， 我曾把你气得哭笑不得

也许， 也许， 也许... ...

你不曾说出你的爱，

从来不说你爱我们，

但是你的举动都充满了爱。

记忆里， 你不曾告诉我该怎么样生活，

不曾要求我成为什么样的人， 

不曾问过我的梦想， 我的志愿；

记忆里， 只记得你希望我过得开心。 

也许，你正在看着，

也许，你正在听着，

也许，你正在感动着，

也许，你正在心疼着，

也许，你因为我而流泪着

也许， 也许... ... 这些也许， 我永远都没办法知道。

谢谢你给的一切。

谢谢你不曾磨灭我的不一样，

谢谢你了解我的不平凡，

谢谢你原谅我的过错，

谢谢你让我自己成长，

谢谢你培养我独立思考的能力，

谢谢你把我训练成今天的我。

这一些谢谢， 即使你看不见， 听不见，

我希望你的心感受得到。

没有一天不爱你，

我的父亲。