Goodbye 2013

Its an adventures year for me. Memorable moments and heart-breaking ones too. Am waving bye to 2013 welcoming 2014. May the year coming is a greater year. My best wishes to everyone, Happy 2014.

X'mas 2013

Christmas breeze of Straits Quay, Penang

It is again the last month of the year. While am still struggling with my own dilemma, Christmas breeze is already in action. Christmas carol and decorations reminded the beautiful Christmas moment I had in Europe and US. The smell of Christmas, the air filled with cold breeze and Christmas. What a wonderful time I had.

Seeing all these Christmas themed decorations in shopping malls have once again waken up the inner Xmas spirit of mine. Maybe I should focus more on Xmas rather than seeing it as the end of a year. To be honest, I am scared and worried. Time flies and I don't seem to have the courage to look back what I have achieved in the past 11 months.

思：诗

人去， 楼空， 泪两行
花落， 凋零， 泪无痕。

苦思， 长盼， 方得见
相逢， 寒暄， 却匆匆。

如梦， 如幻， 残霞中
再见， 亦是， 逾二冬。

Gift

Lovely Elephant Wood Craft from India...Baby elephant was crafted through small holes, in lay method was used. 

I received a beautiful gift from India. This hand crafted wooden elephant is the latest member added to the family. I have 2 elephants bookmarks (wood), and this is the third wooden elephant joining the family. It gives out lovely wooden scent, subtle and mild. The elephant was crafted lively and decorated with ornaments. The tusks are packed separately and am yet to attach them. Thank you for this wonderful gift my God Sent Dad.

糊涂

糊涂的时候， 欺骗的不是别人， 而是自己。
因为相信自己那荒唐的理由， 还希望别人也和自己一样糊涂。

麻坡

Muar River, from Sultan Ismail Bridge 麻坡，麻桥衔接了麻河的两岸

麻坡，一个童年的地方。 

有许多的回忆。 

第一次，以不一样的心情回去。 

那一种心情， 难以言语。 

第一次， 自己搭了10个小时的巴士回去，

却没有想像中的疲惫。

有感而“发“

烟花，
绽放的那一刹那，
是那么璀灿，
燁然炫目。 

之后，
那一片漆黑的深渊，
有多少人，
还清楚记得，
那一刹那夺目耀眼的光芒？

《感叹》
待人处世也没有两样。
名利的光芒， 又何必盲目的追求。
 

Next level of "Out of Focus"

Was been teased of being out of focus long time back. Yesterday night, i experienced the brand new level of out of focus.
Rose from my working place to get calculator in my room, grabbed it, came and sat down. When i look at what i was holding, it was my ALARM CLOCK. I was like, what the hell am i doing with my alarm clock in my hand? What was i went into room to get??? Then i remembered about some calculations.
Yes.... that's the common scenario you will be experiencing if you are out of focus.
C'est la vie. non?

Bedtime story book-Merde!

MERDE Attack !!!

My Second Stephen Clarke's book. Keeping it at night table as my weekend bedtime story book. "Pool" always amuses me. They way he puts all his MERDE experience into words is simply fascinating. From "My Tea Is Rich" in the previous book to what now??? Am still exploring. Feeling content indeed.

心弦

我只能说，原来， 那一份感动与情感， 并没有随着年龄的增长而退化或消失。
它， 依然那么的触动心弦， 犹如灵巧的手指，，时而轻盈，时而稳重的拨动了每一根心弦。
还以为， 在那么巨大的压力之下， 我会感觉不到世上的美丽。
感恩， 我记起了， 自己还是有血有泪的人。
 记:Nang Nak 与 Pee Mak 的颤动。


Our heart is a wonderful organ. Even after undergoing tremendous amount of emotions, our heart still able to be touched, by the most natural emotion in the world-love. The threshold or bottom-line of feeling touched, do not change with age. I was blessed enough to experience it today. Even after nearly 10 years, the feeling is still there, frame by frame, engraved in our mind.
There were "the" moments, that have tugged my heartstrings.

Straits International School-Prize Giving Ceremony

参加了Straits International School的毕业典礼， 心情是很愉快的。 

这一些小瓜， 总有很大的魔力， 让周围的人都很开心。 

无可否认， 国际学校的学生， 真的和我印象中的政府学校的学生很不一样。 

他们不会怯场， 因为平时在学校里也是这样子的。 

表演， 演唱， 在众人面前表现的非常自然。

我承认， 我很喜欢这样的活动，因为丝毫都不会让我觉得不耐烦。

感激他们让我有这样的机会参与。

另外， 主办单位也值得鼓励， 简单， 但是不失温馨。 

没有文绉绉的繁文缛节。

准时， 并且安排妥当。 值得嘉许 :)

Who am I?

Often, I forgotten who I am. Underwent emotional roller-coaster. Disappointment and excitements came and left . It is no longer easy to be who I want to be, who I feel I am.Living in a community which everyone around is very good at something is stressful. I often have forgotten I am not like others. I kept on feeling upset due of shortcoming, and neglected the beauty of it, which give us room for improvement.

I am grateful that at least, there is always someone by my side, encouraging me in all aspects. Life is never easy, however we should never be too harsh on ourselves. Be happy, be grateful... and ENJOY.

有所...保留

如果，
说这样的话，
会让你好过一点。

那么，
我会试着放开，
在遍体鳞伤
越过临界点后
选择慢慢离开。

眼泪

“第一步， 抬头。第二步， 闭眼 。 这样，眼泪就会流到心里去了。”

原来， 不想脸上有泪痕，还有这个方法。 

每每眼泪在眼眶打滚时， 

我总是低下头， 忘记了牛顿地心引力的原理。

再抬起头时，已经泪流满脸了。

孩子，去见你想见的人吧!

孩子，去见你想见的人吧。

趁阳光正好，趁微风不噪。
趁繁花还未开至荼蘼。
趁现在还年轻，还可以走很长很长的路，还能诉说很深很深的思念
趁现在自己的双手还能拥抱彼此，　
趁自己还活着，趁他还活着

趁我们还有呼吸~去做你想做的事吧！

Source: Internet (Adapted and modified)

在互联网上看到了这地段句子， 有很深的感触，
特别是第一句， 读了后就马上喜欢上了。
也许， 那时因为.....
在远方....有个想见的人

哭了，跌倒了。
还是得自己笑着的爬起来。
因为， 没有人会为你流泪。
没有人会为你心疼。

字面上的安慰，
有的时候，也是好的。

May 2013

Month of May is slipping away in silence. Finding it hard to actually sit down and write. Experienced emotions galore. Sometime it is just so hard to sit down and clear up the messy thoughts, emotions and ideas. They just simple tangled together and un-tangle them has turned to be a nightmare.

May has been the awesome month for the two consecutive years. It was like riding emotional roller-coaster. Hiked up and plunged down, and the thrills continued. I am grateful for whatever am gifted and given. Lots of love and care showered upon me.

Ending the post with something that touched my heart,

Dad...Remembering you is easy, I do it everyday. Missing you is the heartache that never goes away.

Coffee sachet

Coffee sachet, birthday gift from my student.

My Thai students happened to know that it was my birthday during last week class. The first reaction was, asking why I did not tell. Then, they tried hard to get something for me. They went to their food "chest" and dug up a pack of crackers and a sachet of coffee (according to the girl, its her mum's). They sang my happy birthday too. Had a really great birthday .... Truly blessed.

24-4-2013

24-4-2013

 

Birthday wishes

Bed of roses

So many buzzes

Full of surprises. 

Men-o-pause 

to Me-no-pause

One big applause

Waken from diapause 

Keep calm

Wading through the crowd

Watching people praying loud

Burning joss sticks, candles and vows

Wishing we will make them proud

Every year looks the same,

Doing perhaps for the name,  

Rising smoke and burning flame,

Passing time does not ease the pain.

三月份

三月份的忙碌， 延续二月尾的福气，源源不绝。

学生的阵容加强了， 外加延期已久的presentation.

忙忙忙忙忙！！！！

好在这一批新的学生们， 总给我带来了安慰和无尽的乐趣。

见到他们， 疲累都被他们搞到不敢那么的放肆了。

感谢他们给我带来的成长， 带来了面对困难的勇气。

感激他们的到来， 那么的及时， 解决了我好多难题。

心灵上，更使受到了他们无价的洗涤。 

没有及时雨的他们， 很可能， 我依然还在为一些挫折而郁郁寡欢。

他们另类的思考方式， 是我最珍惜的一点。

他们开阔了我的"思"野。

我的学生们 

我可爱的学生们。

人生：食相

人生：食相 

有人狼吞虎嚥，甚至吃了隔壁的份 ，結果人吃飽了，卻餓死了靈魂。我寧願慢慢咀嚼，先餵飽靈魂

转载： 鄭丹瑞

笑脸

有的时候，这样做是不想让你见到内心的悲伤， 也不想 做无谓的解释。

甜点

吃甜点，只不过是一个幌子。
欺骗自己吃完之后，
就会感觉开心起来。

终究， 
忽略了在痛苦时分，
甜点怎么也咽不下。

甜点
抹不去身心的创伤，
抚不平内心的伤疤，
带不走心里的悲痛。

Roles

Growing up does not mean by age. With the time past by, we learnt. We learnt to be a better person. What defines by better person you may ask. In my layman eyes, being a better person means learn to play well in your ROLES (plural). We all having multiple roles at one time, as a student, as a lover, as a son/daughter, as a parent, as an employee/employer, as a man/woman. How well we play our roles, sadly it is also defined by other people standard. That is why we said life is a continuous learning process. Through experiences, we get to essence of how to play our roles better and that is one of the signs that you are growing, besides those physical characteristics. 

How many roles each one of you are playing? Imagine the work load, it goes almost the same with everyone. Smile and play well. :)

" The wise are wise only because they love. The fool are fools only because they think they can understand love."   (Paulo Coelho)

" There are two kinds of idiots - those who don't take action because they have received a threat, and those who think they are taking action because they have issued a threat. "(Paulo Coelho)

Sunset 夕阳

Sunset is one of my favourite moments.

Vibrant, colourful and mystic. 

It is like the stage curtain, gradually veil the day, putting an end to it. 

Then, the nightfall kick in. 

With less energy, nevertheless more peaceful and serene.

羞涩妩媚的夕阳，曾经那么的耀眼，转眼却无尽忧伤。

美丽的夕阳， 带有无尽的色彩。

耀眼的光波，

残阳， 依旧泛着金光。

静懿却不乏温馨。

Changes

We go through metamorphosis, everyone of us will, someday at someplace.

It is a process and we learn through it. 

We transform, continuously, settle at a stage for sometime, and again, we continue the transformation. 

We tend to be wounded, but getting stronger along the way. 

We will never ever stay the same forever.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some, 

keep walking when they are hurt.

Some, 

keep talking when they are hurt.

Some,

Stop thinking when they are hurt.

Some,

Stop caring when they are hurt.

直肠子

弯弯曲曲的道路， 九曲十八弯， 不是我这直肠子的那一杯茶。

自己原本就比较直肠子。

因为觉得抱着这样的态度，

看开一点， 活得坦坦荡荡，

生活也许会简单一点。

摩擦

The sunset at Pantai Pasir Panjang, January 2013. 夕阳， 金光闪闪。

人与人之间， 总会有不断的矛盾， 有解不开的疑问， 没有道理的事情发生。直到我们都累了， 不爱去计较了，问题却还是会源源不绝的来。凡是在生活上有交叉的人， 就有机会发生摩擦，避也避不了， 除非是完全和你不相干的人。 
面对这样的问题， 伤心也好， 失落也罢。 最重要的莫过于伤心失落后从新的站起来， 那就已经是最大的成就了。

流失

可以感觉到某些东西逐渐的流失。
原来， 所谓的归属感是那么的重要。
因为有人的所作所为， 让我唯一的归属感大大的打了折扣。
这一份失去， 没料到给我带来的那么大的失落。 
当在那四面墙里的人开始容不下你的时候，
你就失去了那个 "家" 的意义， 渐渐的， 连可以依靠的地方也会消失。 

心.动

“ 等待，是为了和你相遇。”

偶然见到这一句，心弦莫名的被触动了一下。
我想说， 好想潇洒的说这一句话。 

Crossing from 2012 to 2013

365 days. Some bad days and some good days in between. On the new year eve, i continued my last year tradition of writing an email to thank someone who have been helping me so much in everything in my life. Made creme caramel and tea to celebrate my new year eve, sitting on the cold tile of my balcony floor, caressing by the cooling breeze, sipping hot tea and sharing my thoughts with my late father. Miss him so much on that cold night, when fireworks were blasting here and there in my sight. I recollected the first time this type of gigantic fireworks being introduced to "normal residents", around 8-9 years back which my neighbourhood was just started to taste its sweetness. Me and my father would walk around to hunt for its glory lights. 

After his leaving, fireworks reminded me of him every time when i see one. Especially during the festive season of new year and Chinese New Year. On year 2011, i was so blessed to have a once in a life time chance (to me it was) to visit US with my granny and uncle's family. Witnessed the most glorious enchanting and magical fireworks I could ever imagined in Disneyland in Anaheim, California. Yesterday, on the new  year eve, from the other end of my building, the bomb-blastic sound some fireworks caught my attention. So i went with camera, and managed to capture one photo. Very soon, after the building opposite is up. I will lose the chance of seeing such beautiful fireworks from there. Well, we all have to move on. 

2012 had been a good year to me when I try to only look a the bright side and ignore the bad. Many wonderful and memorable moments I had. I feel that, I kind of lost my impatience little by little too. Grateful and wishing to have another "enchanting" year. 

First photo of the year 2013. Bomb-blastic fireworks. Sign of the coming bombastic year? Let us all wish for that.